Peculiar, Very Peculiar.

I am experiencing withdrawal, but not from the hooblers blog. The hooblers blog became a watered down, mundane, rambling of one (possibly insane) mans thoughts. By the end, the humor was long gone, just like the authors dignity and self respect. We here at the Experiencing Withdrawal Institute (from now on referred to as the EWI) are commited to a higher standard, and will do whatever it takes to ensure that standard is met. Will we do it often? No, probably not. Will we enjoy doing it? Not at all. But by god we will get it done.

It Has Been A While

Well hello there. Fancy meeting you here.

It has been well over a month since the last update, it might even be over two months, i'm not sure and I refuse to do any sort of fact checking. I really have nothing new to say. I have spent the last 3 weeks growing a beard, and yet, I do not have anything to show for it, not even a beard. I blame this on either low testosterone levels, which would also explain my sleeping 14 hours a day, but that second symptom is no longer on the table. We successfully diagnosed it as Carbon Monoxide Poisoning. Well done everyone.

Also worth noting, I finally figured out how to delete multiple text messages on my phone. I didn't actually do it though. When I found out I had 2857 saved text messages in my inbox, I couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger. Maybe when I get to 3000.

Roads? Where were going, we don't need no stinking roads!

Couple things to be sorted out

Ok, so there are a couple of things that need to be sorted out;

A Hoooblers Dozen, is 17. So to clarify, the number 17 should now be referred to as a Hoooblers Dozen.

I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to
be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an
overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

Finally, I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

We Have Been Infiltrated

We have been infiltrated. I blame myself mostly, as I, being the wisest of us as well as having the most face time with the effected subject during the infiltration. Of course, I am referring to Yoko Ono (probably not her real name), and the negative effect she has had on the one and only Hoooblers. In fact, her influence over the subject has indeed ended with the death of Hoooblers, only to have him replaced with the all to boring and bland Adam Huybers. As a result of the death of Hoooblers, the group has splintered, and no longer remains a group, but a bunch of individuals floundering in unsuccessful solo careers.

So the question becomes what to do, and I have yet to devise a plan, but i can assure you, we here at the institute for Experiencing Withdrawal are putting all of our considerable resources (me and 3 interns) into finding a cure. Together, we will beat this thing!!!

A couple of pics to get you through the day


Swine flu, its serious shit!

I got nothing

Ok, there are two main points to todays post, you will probably hate both of them.

The first is about Africa. Does anyone really care anymore. Seriously, Bono can get on his soap box and talk all day, but i really don't think most people care. Sure, you may be against poverty and disease slowly killing a continent, but who isn't? And anybody can sit in their house and read a newspaper article about the latest civil war, thats not tough to do. But caring is really measured in what you do, its measured by your actions, and i think the silent majority has spoken... Nobody cares. So as far as i'm concerned Bono can go shove it up his ass.

Second, last night on Fox was the Carrie Underwood Christmas Special. What the hell has Carrie Underwood done to get her own special. Actually, she seems to be quite the singer, but this show was not just music, it was comedy sketches too, and i use the word comedy loosely, very very loosely. It was just painful to watch, absolutely horrible. Also annoying was how it was called a christmas special. December 8th is way to early for a christmas special. Also, all holiday specials should be hosted outside in a nice wintery city like New York or Chicago, not in a studio with a set that is nothing but this weird steel and red glass. But my real point is that Carrie Underwood is pretty hot, i did not know that.

Heres some random pics

This isn't going to work!

I'm just not offensive enough for this blog to be successful. Sure, i find offensive stuff funny, but i'm not gonna post my own sick thoughts. I am more than willing to post other peoples thoughts though. I bring you some great quotes from some persons website, here is his intro and the quotes;

I was just lurking the SA Forums in Sociology class (shame on me) and stumbled into a thread with some good quotes made by goons (members of Something Awful). Some of them are just so funny and intelligent that I decided to post some good ones here. The only thing I’m really sorry about, is if I’m unable to give proper credits to the member I quote. Sorry!

«I wash myself in the shower with Comet and steel wool. I scrape the stubble off my face with a Ka-Bar and use gasoline for aftershave. Then I comb my hair with a live wolverine. I put crystal meth in my coffee. When I go to work, I chase down cars on foot, drag the drivers out, kill them, and then take their cars to work. When I take a smoke break, I burn Styrofoam and inhale the fumes. When I go hunting, I just stare at the deer. They follow me home and climb into my freezer. Because they know. They know.»

–

Said about movie director Uwe Boll:

«The weird thing about Boll is that he says some intelligent things mixed in with the rest of his retardation. It’s like a monkey building a complex ladder to get a banana, only to then try eating it by sticking it in his ass.» – ChuckMaster

–

«Wait, so you’re saying you fucked a stillborn fetus to dismemberment? And you didn’t notice? How the hell do you not notice that? I mean, I’m no gynecologist or whatever but I’m pretty sure vaginas are supposed to be empty when you fuck them, not stuffed. It’s not like a fucking peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich.» - Captain Queernabs

–

«My girlfriend also loves to roleplay. Her favorite being teacher / student. Once while playing the math teacher, in the middle of sex, I yelled, “Recite the quadratic formula… and make me believe it, bitch!”» - Unknown author

–

Various asshole quotes:

«Your incessant faggotry is proof that there is no God.»

«You are worthless in ways you won’t ever comprehend. I’m washing my hands of you here and now – don’t ever speak to me again.»

«Yeah? That dent in your forehead? It’s from the coathanger where your mom failed at aborting you. Coathanger poked a bunch and just jarred you around. Maybe that’s why you’re retarded.»

«You’re the perfect example of why fourth trimester abortions should be made legal.» – Unknown author

–

«In a grim and windowless interrogation room I was met by two equally grim and windowless policemen.» – Unknown author

–

«As a goon I am too fat to mobilize.» – Brick Hardmeat

–

«I never joke about suicide or anorexia anymore, because it always leads to someone in the room starting a sentence with ‘Actually…’» – Poacher

–

On Hillary Clinton:

«My big problem is that feeling I get when she speaks that somehow, the universe is slowly evaporating into a thoughtless void through unfathomable processes; it’s kind of like a Lovecraft story, but without monsters–just a sort of senseless despair. Maybe it’s only a result of my being an impressionable Southern kid in the 90s when Republican vitriol for her was really high, but whatever it is, I just don’t like it when noises come out of her mouth.» – Uknown author

–

«She got even redder, but rather than resist my extreme hotness, she began to take off all of her clothes. I walked over to her, I towered over her, which wasn’t hard considering I am 6′5, 270lbs with rippling muscles. I picked her up, and threw her hard onto the bed and proclaimed, ‘the love making begins.’» – Twin Cinema

–

«Nailed a fat chick on a golfcourse, behind some bushes just to the side of the 7th green. I exclaimed “HOLE IN ONE!” upon climax, hopped in the golfcart and drove away. She doesnt talk to me anymore, I wonder what happened.» – Unknown author

–

«I think the most dangerous animal would be a bear, riding an elephant, stuck in rush hour traffic on the D.C. beltway. And also, the elephant’s radio is stuck on a crazy extremist talk station. The bear also has a bag of piranha that he can throw at people.» – Unknown author

–

«Making love to a woman is like working on an assembly line. No matter how good you are at it, you’ll eventually be replaced by a foreigner or a machine.» – Unknown author

–

«I may be a stupid faggot, but I’d be a stupid faggot that’s fucking some bitch’s feet.» – Unknown author

–

«Man, if CSI came into my old apartment with a blacklight they’d have been confused as hell.» – Unknown author

–

«I like it when her fingers are fatter than my dick it makes handjobs feel like I’m wrapped up in dicks» – Whalley

http://dominhate.wordpress.com/2009/01/12/something-awful-quotes/

To the maxxxxx!

After careful examination of the internet, i have discovered why this blog has failed (in some peoples eyes). It all came down to one simple fact. This blog is not offensive enough. I think, for this blog to be a success i must insult all religions, races, and genders, and i must do it often, with no regard for the social consequences. Of course, being a white male makes that tougher to do without being ostracized from the community. Oh well, that is a risk i am willing to take.

Here is enough random crap from the internet to keep you busy for a couple minutes:



I recommend you click on the image to enlarge, so you can read the signs.



Here is the greatest play in the history of mascot football, but you got to skip ahead to the 54 second mark.



Now here is the hardest hitting 6 year old football player



And finally, the first youtube video in 1080p HD, i recommend you watch it in full screen.